SURELY, IT IS I

Wednesday in Holy Week
Mt 26:14-25

When a priest preaches, he often talks about lessons derived from actual lives of actual people. In a homily, the priest not only talks about people’s lives but talks to all the people as well…yes, including himself. The truth is that the priest preaches to himself even as he preaches to his congregation. In the same vein, the priest refers to himself even as he refers to others. An honest homily convicts both the preacher and the preached to. The word of God, Scriptures say, is a two-edged sword, does it not?

Sometimes when I preach, some people immediately react negatively against what I say. Most of those who react negatively are polite while some, experience taught me after ten years of preaching, can be violent. But whether I please or displease people, I continue to preach. Preaching is my life, my ministry, and my accountability to God. I am a priest. I preach to others and preach to my self, too.

Quite often even as those I preach to feel alluded to by me in my homilies, I ask my self at the end of the day, “Was I not referring to my self today when I spoke about that hypocrite, about that liar, about that glutton, about that sloth, about that proud and unforgiving man?” “Not I, Lord, surely?” I say. But the Lord answers me when I pray, “They are your own words.” Then my preaching turns to praying, my praying turns to begging: “Forgive me, Lord, I am a sinful man.”

The most difficult homily to preach is the one that convicts the preacher himself. The most difficult question to ask is the one that confronts the self. The most difficult answer to give is the one that pleads guilty.

And we are all guilty.